Enrichment · Wellbeing

Ask once,
clearly.

Asking for help is easier with the words already written. Pick who to ask and how, then write four short parts: an opener, the situation in a sentence or two, one specific ask and a time that works. The builder times it aloud, checks that the ask really asks for something and prints a card you can read from.

Write an askWhat you get

Asks

The worked example is made up: extra help in algebra, a schedule change at a part-time job and a talk with a parent about feeling low. Saved on this device only.

Loading the ask form. If nothing appears, turn on JavaScript.

What you get

Enrichment · WellbeingFree

What you finish with
A record per ask: who, how and how soon; an opener, the situation, the specific ask and a time; a backup person; where it stands; and four checks. Counts words and seconds aloud; prints a script card; flags an ask with no request, a long message, an urgent ask sent by message, no backup, a no that needs the backup and any words about not being safe.
Who it is for
Middle school, high school and college students, and young adults at a first job.
Format
Browser builder with a saved record per ask. Prints a script card, one ask, all of them or a blank sheet; downloads a spreadsheet (.csv); exports and imports a file.
Access
Free. No account, no sign-in and nothing to install. Everything you type stays in this browser; nothing is sent to Caveat.
Where it lives
The Wellbeing space in Caveat Enrichment.
Support
Questions about access, an order or a correction: team@caveatacademic.com.

How to use it

  1. Write what you need help with and who can help.
  2. Fill in the four parts, short.
  3. Read the flags and fix the ask until it asks for one thing.
  4. Print the card or copy the message.
  5. Mark how it went; if it was a no, ask your backup.

Write an ask

Asking for help

A request someone can say yes to1Pick the personSomeone who can actually helpwith this.2Pick the momentNot mid-rush; ask for a fewminutes.3Say the situationOne or two sentences, asfacts.4Make one askA thing they can do, starting“Could you”.5Offer a timeTwo options make it easy tosay yes.6Have a backupOne no is not the last answer.A request someone can say yes to1Pick the personSomeone who can actually help with this.2Pick the momentNot mid-rush; ask for a few minutes.3Say the situationOne or two sentences, as facts.4Make one askA thing they can do, starting “Couldyou”.5Offer a timeTwo options make it easy to say yes.6Have a backupOne no is not the last answer.
Most people say yes to a clear, small request. The script keeps yours short enough to say in under half a minute.

People say yes more than you expect

In studies of asking strangers for small favors, people who asked guessed that about half as many would agree as actually did. Teachers, relatives and managers you already know are more likely still to help.

When it is about feeling low

Telling a parent, a school counselor or a doctor is the right first step, and the words do not need to be perfect. If you might not be safe, call or text 988 any time; you can also chat at 988lifeline.org.

Sources

  1. Flynn, F. J., and Lake, V. K. B. (2008). If you need help, just ask: underestimating compliance with direct requests for help. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95(1), 128 to 143.
  2. CASEL. Relationship skills: seeking or offering support and help when needed. casel.org.
  3. Rickwood, D., Deane, F. P., Wilson, C. J., and Ciarrochi, J. (2005). Young people’s help-seeking for mental health problems. Australian e-Journal for the Advancement of Mental Health, 4(3).
  4. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (988lifeline.org): call or text 988, chat online, 24 hours a day.

The worked example is made up. Nothing you type is sent to Caveat. This page is not a crisis service: call or text 988, or 911 in an emergency. Support: team@caveatacademic.com.