Enrichment · Life Skills

The talk,
before it is urgent.

Most people know what they would want at the end of life, and most have never said it to the people who would have to decide. Use this during or after the conversation: four scales to point at, their words written down, the topics still to cover and what to do next.

Record a conversationWhat you get

Your conversations

The worked example is made up: two talks with a father who wants comfort first, and a first talk with a mother who has not decided much yet. Saved on this device only, so it stays private.

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What you get

Enrichment · Life SkillsFree

What you finish with
A record per conversation: whose wishes, who was there and when; four 1-to-5 scales (how much to know, treatment or comfort first, who decides, who nearby) and the place of care; what matters most, worries and faith or culture in their own words; seven topics covered or still to cover; four next steps. Shows each scale and how it changed since the last talk; flags an undecided place, comfort-first wishes with CPR not discussed and wishes not written down.
Who it is for
Adults talking with an aging parent, a partner or a seriously ill relative, and anyone recording their own wishes to share with family.
Format
Browser guide with a saved record per conversation. Prints one conversation to share with family or a doctor, every conversation in a table or a blank copy to use at the table; downloads a spreadsheet (.csv); exports and imports a file.
Access
Free. No account, no sign-in and nothing to install. Everything you type stays in this browser; nothing is sent to Caveat.
Where it lives
The Life Skills space in Caveat Enrichment.
Support
Questions about access, an order or a correction: team@caveatacademic.com.

How to use it

  1. Print a blank copy and read it through before the talk.
  2. Ask them to point to a number on each scale.
  3. Write what matters most in their words.
  4. Mark the topics you covered and leave the rest for next time.
  5. Turn the wishes into an advance directive and tell the doctor.

Record a conversation

How to start

Five steps, over more than one talk1Get readyThink aboutwhat mattersmost to youfirst2Pick amomentA calm time,not a hospitalcorridor3Start small“I was thinkingabout whathappened toGrandma.”4ListenTheir words,not yours; itcan takeseveral talks5Write itdownAn advancedirective and anote to thedoctorFive steps, over more than one talk1 Get readyThink about what matters most to youfirst2 Pick a momentA calm time, not a hospital corridor3 Start small“I was thinking about what happenedto Grandma.”4 ListenTheir words, not yours; it can takeseveral talks5 Write it downAn advance directive and a note tothe doctor
Most families need more than one conversation. Wishes can change, and that is a reason to keep talking, not a failure.

Why talk before writing

An advance directive form asks about specific treatments. The conversation is where the reasons come out, and the reasons are what help a family decide in situations no form predicted.

Comfort care is still care

Choosing comfort first does not mean stopping care. Palliative care treats pain and other symptoms at any stage of a serious illness, and hospice care focuses on comfort when treatment aimed at a cure has stopped.

Sources

  1. The Conversation Project, Institute for Healthcare Improvement. Your Conversation Starter Guide (theconversationproject.org).
  2. National Institute on Aging. Advance Care Planning and What Are Palliative Care and Hospice Care? (nia.nih.gov).
  3. Center to Advance Palliative Care. What is palliative care (getpalliativecare.org).
  4. National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization, CaringInfo. Having the conversation (caringinfo.org).

The worked example is made up. This page records a conversation; it is not an advance directive, a medical order or legal advice. Nothing you type is sent to Caveat. Support: team@caveatacademic.com.