Enrichment · Wellbeing

Think about the people
you spend time with.

Some friendships leave you lighter and some leave you tired, and it is easy to keep going without asking why. For each person or group, use initials only, rate how you usually feel after time together, answer seven questions about how the relationship works and write what you appreciate and what you would change. The journal points out the patterns, including the ones that deserve an adult’s ear.

Add a relationshipWhat you get

Relationships

The worked example is made up: four people in a ninth grader’s fall, written with initials only. Saved on this device only.

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What you get

Enrichment · WellbeingFree

What you finish with
An entry per relationship: initials or a nickname, the kind of relationship, how you usually feel after time together (1 to 5), seven questions on how it works, what you appreciate, what you would like to be different and one step. Shows the average feeling after time together, how many relationships leave you lifted and the quality missing most often; flags each “not really”, pressure or a no that is not respected, and a relationship that usually leaves you drained.
Who it is for
Students in grades 6 to 12 and college; advisory teachers and school counselors teaching healthy relationships.
Format
Browser journal with a saved entry per relationship. Prints one entry, every entry in a table or a blank page; downloads a spreadsheet (.csv); exports and imports a file.
Access
Free. No account, no sign-in and nothing to install. Everything you type stays in this browser; nothing is sent to Caveat.
Where it lives
The Wellbeing space in Caveat Enrichment.
Support
Questions about access, an order or a correction: team@caveatacademic.com.

How to use it

  1. Use initials or a nickname, never a full name. This journal is about you, not a record of anyone else.
  2. Rate how you usually feel after time together, not on the best or worst day.
  3. Answer the seven questions honestly; “not sure yet” is a fine answer.
  4. Write what you appreciate first, then what you would like to be different.
  5. Pick one small step, and look again in a month.

Add a relationship

What makes a friendship healthy

Signs a friendship is working, and signs to look at twiceWorkingWorth a second lookYou can be yourselfYou act differently to fit inEffort goes both waysYou always reach out firstA no is acceptedA no gets pushback or teasingDisagreements get talked throughFights go silent or go publicPrivate things stay privateYour secrets get passed aroundSigns a friendship is working, and signs to look at twiceYou can be yourselfWorth a second look: You act differently to fit inEffort goes both waysWorth a second look: You always reach out firstA no is acceptedWorth a second look: A no gets pushback or teasingDisagreements get talked throughWorth a second look: Fights go silent or go publicPrivate things stay privateWorth a second look: Your secrets get passed around
No friendship has every sign all the time. The pattern over months matters more than one bad week.

Quality over number

Studies of children and teenagers find that the quality of a friendship (support, help, closeness and the ability to resolve conflict) matters more for wellbeing than how many friends someone has. One good friendship protects against loneliness.

Conflict is normal

Every close relationship has disagreements. What researchers find matters is whether conflict gets worked through. A friendship that can survive an argument is often stronger for it.

When to talk to an adult

If someone pressures you into things you do not want, ignores your no, shares your private things or makes you feel unsafe, tell a parent, a teacher or your school counselor. If you might not be safe, call or text 988, or 911 in an emergency.

Sources

  1. Parker, J. G., and Asher, S. R. (1993). Friendship and friendship quality in middle childhood: links with peer group acceptance and feelings of loneliness and social dissatisfaction. Developmental Psychology, 29(4), 611 to 621.
  2. Bagwell, C. L., and Schmidt, M. E. (2011). Friendships in Childhood and Adolescence. Guilford Press.
  3. CASEL. The CASEL 5: relationship skills (casel.org).
  4. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (988lifeline.org): call or text 988, chat online, 24 hours a day.

The worked example is made up. This journal is for private reflection about your own relationships; it is not a record about anyone else, and it is not counseling. Nothing you type is sent to Caveat. Support: team@caveatacademic.com.