Enrichment · Wellbeing

Bring examples.
Leave with an agreement.

Most workplace conflicts go better when they are raised early, privately and with specifics: what happened, when, what it did to the work and what you are asking for. Write those down before you talk. Some problems are not conversations at all; the guide marks harassment, discrimination and safety for reporting.

Prepare a conversationWhat you get

Your conversations

The worked example is made up: a coworker who takes over shared work, and a manager’s comments about religion that go on after being asked to stop. Saved on this device only.

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What you get

Enrichment · WellbeingFree

What you finish with
A record per conversation: who it is with by role, the relationship, the kind of problem, the date, how heated you feel, dated examples with their effect, an opening line, the request, a fallback and eight preparation steps. Counts examples and dated ones and days to the conversation; flags harassment and safety for reporting with the EEOC window, high heat, undated examples, a missing request and framing for a manager.
Who it is for
Employees, student workers, interns and new managers facing a difficult conversation with a coworker, manager, report or client.
Format
Browser guide with a saved record per conversation. Prints one plan, every conversation in a table or a blank sheet; downloads a spreadsheet (.csv); exports and imports a file.
Access
Free. No account, no sign-in and nothing to install. Everything you type stays in this browser; nothing is sent to Caveat.
Where it lives
The Wellbeing space in Caveat Enrichment.
Support
Questions about access, an order or a correction: team@caveatacademic.com.

How to use it

  1. Name the person by role and the kind of problem.
  2. List two or three dated, specific examples.
  3. Write the opening line and one clear request.
  4. Work through the preparation steps.
  5. Afterward, write down what was agreed.

Prepare a conversation

Three routes

Talk it out, or report itTalk it outDisagreements about theworkHabits that get in theway: credit, handoffs,interruptionsStart with the person,privatelyTake it higherTalking did not changeitIt keeps you from doingthe jobA manager or HR, withyour notesReport itHarassment ordiscriminationThreats or a safetyhazardPolicy route, HR, EEOCor OSHATalk it out, or report itTalk it outDisagreements about the workHabits that get in the way: credit,handoffs, interruptionsStart with the person, privatelyTake it higherTalking did not change itIt keeps you from doing the jobA manager or HR, with your notesReport itHarassment or discriminationThreats or a safety hazardPolicy route, HR, EEOC or OSHA
Retaliating against someone for reporting harassment, discrimination or a safety problem is illegal under federal law.

Facts, then meaning

“You sent the report on October 21 without my section” is a fact. “You are trying to make me look bad” is a guess. Start with the facts and the effect on the work; ask about the meaning rather than announcing it.

After a hard day

Conflict at work follows people home. A walk, a talk with someone you trust or a good night’s sleep before the conversation all help. If it starts to feel like more than a work problem, talk with a counselor or an employee assistance program.

Sources

  1. U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. Harassment and Time limits for filing a charge (eeoc.gov).
  2. Occupational Safety and Health Administration. File a safety and health complaint and Whistleblower protection (osha.gov).
  3. Stone, D., Patton, B., and Heen, S. (2010). Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most (10th anniversary ed.). Penguin.
  4. Fisher, R., Ury, W., and Patton, B. (2011). Getting to Yes (3rd ed.). Penguin.
  5. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (988lifeline.org).

The worked examples are made up. This guide is for preparing a conversation; it is not legal advice, counseling or a crisis service. If you might not be safe, call or text 988 or call 911. Nothing you type is sent to Caveat. Support: team@caveatacademic.com.